Travel Tuesdays: Deep and Permanent Change

Machu Picchu, Peru

I have a busy week hosting Otha Day of "Drum to the Beat" at my kids' school and then my sister and niece from California. So today, rather than a lengthy post, I offer this quotation as food for thought.

Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.  ~Miriam Beard

What do you think? Does this ring true for you? 

Related Posts:

Travel Tuesdays: Mark Twain Quotation

Travel Tuesdays: Awakening in a Strange Place

Travel Tuesdays: Take a Break from the Internet

He who returns from a journey is not the same as he who left.

                                                                                  ~Chinese Proverb

You've heard it all before...we're too connected all the time. We need a mental break. Stop checking Facebook, email, twitter, etc. Stop posting your status.

Of course, I agree this is a good idea for our mental health as well as our relationships. But when traveling, there is an additional benefit. Staying off the internet means you get to really be in the place you're visiting. Think about it. If you're constantly posting status updates, you're not really living in the same place as your body- you're somehow trapped back home-telling all of your friends what you're doing.

When I was an exchange student to the Philippines, email didn't exist. The only way I could communicate with my family and friends was through very expensive phone calls or through snail mail. And boy was it snail mail... letters took 10 days to get there. Packages took 3 months! Now I'm not extolling the virtues of the "good ole days" like some old geezer. But in some ways, I had it easier back then. I had to be present in the place where I was living because I had no choice. If I were a teen exchange student now, I don't know how well I'd do. I'd like to think I'd manage, but the draw of social media is strong. And a year is a long time.

But here's the thing. For most travelers, time away does not last nearly that long. Many of us are lucky if we get two weeks off a year. And all of it isn't usually spent traveling. So when you do get a break-whether your traveling to some far off destination or hanging around your home town relaxing, take a real break. Turn off the computer. Ignore Facebook. Set an "out of office message" on your email.

I'm as much a member of the digital world as the next person, but that's what I did when I was lucky enough to be in Italy for three weeks this past summer. I had scheduled my usual "Wordless Wednesday" posts, plus one guest post for my blog before I left, but other than that I was internet silent. No blogging. No Twitter. No Facebook or Pinterest. I checked email a few of times in the entire three weeks, just in case there was something urgent, but I didn't respond to one email until I returned.

And guess what happened? Nothing. And everything. The world continued on without me and I got to really live in the place my body occupied. I  got to experience all Salina, and Sicilia, and Roma had to offer me uninterrupted by the chatter of life back home. I got to play games with my kids, swim in the Mediterranean, and forge friendships with people I met. I had literally no idea what was happening in the the rest of the world for three full weeks. But my world was rich indeed.

He who returns from a journey is not the same as he who left.

But that can only happen if you really do leave it all behind when you go.

Take a break. Be there, not here. See what happens.

Have you tried disconnecting while traveling? Now did it go? What was the result?

Travel Tuesdays: Keep A Journal
Travel Tuesdays: The Philippines "Growing Up"
Travel Tuesdays: Exchange Students

Travel Tuesdays: A Sense of Place

I've been thinking a lot about how my sense of place affects me when I travel. When I first arrived in Niamey, Niger, for a few moments, my physical surroundings overwhelmed me. I found myself searching for something familiar-anything similar to something I knew.

Within a short period of time, I found it. I noticed that the buildings had a similar shape and construction to many buildings in the Philippines (where I once lived). Most of the buildings had a cube-shaped, low profile and were made of blocks. In the Philippines, many buildings have a similar shape and are made out of cinder blocks.

We also passed several piles of burning trash along the road. As that smoldering smell reached my nose, I felt myself relax a little more. I know that may sound weird, but to anyone who's lived or traveled in the developing world, roadside piles of burning trash are commonplace. I had lived in the Philippines long enough to make that landscape my own, so while I hated the burning trash when I first arrived in the Philippines, it had become weirdly comforting- a reminder of my second home.

Erg Zhigaga, Morocco

Certainly places that inspire awe in us can make us feel somehow more calm. But not all beautiful scenes do that for me. The giant rolling dunes of the Sahara are certainly beautiful. I know our friend who grew up there feels serene in the desert. But for me, as much as I enjoyed the beauty, I never felt the sense of serenity that I feel in landscapes that are more similar to the one where I grew up.

After leaving those giant sand dunes of Morocco, we headed toward the coast. About 30 minutes before we reached the shore I looked at my husband and said, "Ocean! Did you feel that?" We could literally feel the moisture in the air and knew the ocean wasn't far. Until that moment, I didn't even realize I had that ability.

When we eventually reached Essaouria, I instantly loved the place. I mean, I really loved it. And what made me love it? For starters, the ocean runs right up against the town, just steps from our hotel. The town, which is known for it's blue doors, also employs a major fishing fleet. You can watch them come in at sunset every night.

For someone who grew up in New Bedford Massachusetts, a city that hosts one of the largest fishing fleets in our country, that's a familiar scene. The circles of gulls overhead waiting for scraps. The slightly unpleasant odor of fish being off-loaded or cleaned. While I might call parts of that unpleasant, they're also comfortable and familiar.

Hyderabad, India

But here's what I've also learned. My most transformative travel experiences are those that happened in places where I felt the most uncomfortable, or downright uneasy. I was overwhelmed when I first arrived in the Philippines. I was living in the city of Cebu. I had grown up in the country surrounded by trees and farmland and lakes. But that experience was easily the most transformative of my life.  The city of Hyderabad, India completely overwhelmed me, too. Yet I can barely put into words all that I learned and gained from that one short trip.

For me, overcoming the barriers of culture and language are not as difficult as overcoming my own internal discomfort in places that are so physically different from where I grew up.

How about you and your kids? What kinds of travel are most transformative for you?

You Might Also Like:
Travel Tuesdays: Morocco
Travel Tuesdays: Awakening in a Strange Place
Travel Tuesdays: Pack Your Sense of Humor
Travel Tuesdays: India

Travel Tuesdays: Suburban Life vs Adventure

When we were in Italy, I met an American college student at the emigration museum on Salina. Among many other things, we talked about his plans once his internship at the museum ended. He planned to return to the states to complete his college education, but then what? He expressed concern that his mother wanted him to get a "real" job- like in a bank. He feared this meant a path would be laid out for him that he didn't want- a wife, kids, white picket fence, responsibilities- in essence a suburban life with no adventure.

Of course, I can't know if a job in a bank is right for him but I CAN comment on the part of him that fears a path he didn't want would be predetermined. Certainly, the path he described happens to many people- some because they choose it, some because they move along through life without really thinking and then they suddenly realize that's what happened.

I told him he could have that life if that's what he wanted, or he could choose to have a different life. I understand his need for adventure. My husband and I both wanted to travel, so this is one reason we were married for 11 years before deciding to have children. We had plenty of adventure in those first 11 years. We went on a camel trek in the Sahara. We hiked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. We rode bush taxis in Niger. And we flew over the vast open spaces of Alaska in a bush plane.

And, here's the exciting thing: we continue to travel with our kids. Sure, the kinds of trips we take have evolved, but we still have fun adventures. We visited Stonehenge, rode bikes on the carriage paths in Acadia National Park, attended a wedding in India, and, most recently, walked among ancient ruins at Agrigento, Sicily. We've "mucked about" plenty with our kids both here and abroad.

My  main point to this college student was that he gets to choose the life he wants. Sure, there will be bumps and adversity along the way- such is life- but he doesn't have to follow some predetermined path. Even if he takes that job in the bank, nothing else about his life is determined. He can get married or not. He can buy a house or not. He can live in a city or in the 'burbs. And he can choose to travel if that's what he really wants to do. And, most importantly, if he chooses one path and later realizes he doesn't like the path he chose, he can change directions- find a new job, move to a new place, find some new adventure. Unlike previous generations, there is no expectation that we'll work in the same job at the same factory until we retire with a company pension. Sure, that comes with new challenges, but it also means we can choose the life we really want.

This is the part we can model for our children. Do you have the suburban lifestyle and hate it? Maybe a change is in order. On the other hand, do you love it? If so really embrace it and don't worry or complain about the small stuff. Do you have kids and want to travel? Figure out how to make it happen. Make it a priority. And don't feel pressured to take the trips everyone else is taking. If you love Disney World, great! Go to Disney. But don't feel like you have to take your kids to Disney because everyone else is doing it. I've heard this as a reason for not taking a trip to the Grand Canyon- "We had to take the kids to Disney so the Grand canyon had to wait."

Decide what you really want so you can make the life you want.

Do you have the life you want for you and your kids? What's holding you back? What can you change to get the life you want?

You might also like:
Travel Tuesdays: Affording to Travel
Travel Tuesdays: Top 10 Tips or traveling With Children
Travel Tuesdays: Top 10 Items to Pack When Traveling With Children

Travel Tuesdays: I'm Traveling Today

We're traveling home today after roughing it in Florida at our niece's wedding. I'll be back with a new Travel Tuesdays post next week.

Travel Tuesdays: Morocco

When my husband and I traveled to Morocco with friends, we visited some of the usual places. We toured Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca, navigated the medina in Fes, and rode the Marrakesh Express from Fes to Marrakesh. We also visited the neighborhood where my great-aunt lived before she married my mom's uncle and moved to the States.

Toward the end of our trip, a guide picked us up at our hotel in Marrakesh and drove us over the Atlas mountains, through the moving making- town of Ouarzazate (Movies such as The Mummy were filmed there) to the village of M'Hamid. We ate a late dinner, then loaded up a land rover and drove to our campsite in the Sahara Desert.  After sleeping on blankets on the sand, we packed our bags and set out on a camel trek. Exciting stuff, right? Sure enough. The stuff of great stories (Can you say runaway camel?) But here's the thing. The stories I most like to tell folks who want to hear the more intimate stories of Morocco involve moments of connection with the locals or my friends and husband, not stories of high adventure.

We made a point to get to know our guides. One guide was deaf, so we watched the signs they had developed to communicate (no ASL there) and did our best to communicate with him. One night after dinner, our guides gathered around a campfire a distance from us. One man had improvised an instrument- he was drumming on our water jug while the others sang along quietly in Arabic. We asked if we could join them. After a while, we shared that our friend used to be a drummer so he played some of his American rhythms on that same water jug. We also bonded with our friends while suffering from “Traveler’s D.” I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. Working through some level of adversity together can bring people together. I also reconnected with an exchange student who had lived here in Massachusetts 6 years before. My husband and I visited his home and met his wife and daughter.

One of my favorite moments, however, happened on our drive back to Ouarzazate. Our guide, Mokhtar, and I opted to sit in the way back seat of the land rover. Working with a mix of English, Arabic, and French words, we began telling each other our cultural stories. I wish I could remember all we shared that day. What I do remember is that it went something like this…

Mokhtar told a story. I said, “Oh! We have one like that!” and I told him a fairy tale from my childhood. Which lead him to a story from his childhood and so on. We went on like that for at least half an hour. It felt like time simultaneously raced ahead and slowed down to a crawl- what experts call “flow.” The storyteller in me was reinvigorated that day, for sure.

Mokhtar still has a special connection to our family. The night of the drumming, Mohktar gave us and our two friends Arabic names. The name he gave to me is the name we gave to our daughter. (People who know me personally, please note that I do not share my children’s names on this blog for safety/privacy reasons. Please don’t put it in the comments. Thanks.) 

Mokhtar started as our guide but became a friend. For years, we communicated via snail mail and email. Now we message or IM on Facebook.

So here’s my point. Sightseeing is nice, but don’t get sucked into the trap of racing from one attraction to another. We saw lots of tourists in Morocco. They’d arrive on giant tour buses clutching their purses, fearful of pickpockets, only to be herded from one site to another. I’d venture to say they left Morocco knowing no more about the country than when they arrived.

Slow down. Stop and meet the locals. Ask about what’s important to them. You’ll likely find their desires are the same as yours.

How about you? What stories do you have to share about meeting the locals in your home town or from across the globe?