Travel Tuesdays: Professional Conferences

This past weekend, I attended the NE-SCBWI (New England- Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) annual conference in Springfield, MA. For those who don't know, this regional gathering is one of the largest gatherings of children's book writers and illustrators in the world. I heard there were 600 plus KidLit folks there! Authors and Illustrators such as Harry Bliss, Jane Yolen, Kate Messner, and Sarah Zarr gave speeches. Many others such as Elizabeth Partridge and Tanya Lee Stone served on panels, while still others such as Dan Yaccarino, Anne Broyles, Laya Steinberg and Sarah Lamstein facilitated workshops. To be in a place with so many "rock stars" of the KidLit world was inspiring indeed.

But what does that have to do with this blog, you ask?  I came away from the weekend so excited that I wanted to write about it but I was left wondering how I would remain true to the tagline of my blog: Muck About. Meet the locals. Expand your World. I try hard to stick to my stated mission here at Polliwog. There are often times when something interesting occurs to me but I don't blog about it if it's not related to my stated mission.

Monday, as I reflected on the conference, however, the connection became evident. I wasn't riding a city bus talking to locals, but I did connect with many people this weekend (some from the Springfield area) and I definitely expanded my world in many ways. I also met some folks in real life for the first time who I've talked to in the comments here on my blog or on my Michelle Cusolito, Writer page on Facebook.

I made an effort to talk to people I met, whether a woman behind me in the line for the ladies room or a man sitting next to me in a workshop. Not every exchange was deep -sometimes it was a simple, "Good morning" as we boarded the elevator. But it seems everyone else at the conference was doing the same as me- saying hello and smiling. Each exchange made my day a little brighter. And some interactions were downright amazing.

I confess, by Sunday morning, I was little tired after two intensive days of workshops and I wasn't feeling terribly talkative. (Yes, I do have times of not feeling talkative, rare though they are! And yes, they do usually occur in the morning). But, I pushed myself to be sociable. As I chatted with my friend K and another woman to my left, my friend S was chatting with 2 women to my right. Eventually, S got my attentions and told me I HAD to talk to the woman to my right because we have so much in common. He mentioned my blog and told me I should share the URL with her. As time went on, I learned she had written "A little non-fiction book." I asked what it was and Emily Goodman reached into her bag to show me Plant Secrets.

And I'm not even kidding, not only is it a book I own, my daughter took it out on a hike last weekend so she could "do research." I had nothing to do with my daughter's choice to even dig the book out, never mind to bring it on our hike. Even better, I had this photo of her referring to it as we walked:

Photo taken 14 April 2012

So, my message is one you've heard here before, but it's one even I need to be reminded of sometimes. Take a little risk. Push through your apprehension, shyness, or tiredness and say hello to the person next to you. You never know who you might meet! And, by modeling that behavior for your children, you'll teach them to be open to new people and new experiences. (Of course, part of your modeling should include teaching children the usual guidelines for interacting with strangers).

Have you ever made an effort to talk to someone even when you didn't feel like it and had a surprising or interesting result?

Related Posts:
Travel Tuesdays: Pushing Outside Your Comfort Zone
Travel Tuesdays: Take the City Bus, Not the Tour Bus

Meetin' the Locals

It's been a busy few weeks here in the Cusolito household, with a 10 day trip to our Nation's Capitol and then the birth of my niece.

Here's a post I started before we left but was only able to finish tonight.

Kids offer a great way to meet new people. I've been especially aware of this fact as I take my kids to swimming lessons each day. The beach is full of families, most of them with young children. Children automatically gravitate to each other on the beach, at the playground, in the park, on the city bus, etc. All parents have to do is take the opportunity to say hello to each other and chat a bit.

So far at the beach we've met several families from our own town that we didn't know and many from the neighboring towns. I met a mom who literally lives around the corner from us. I've also been the "local" person others meet. Just the other day, a dad said hello when his son wandered nearby. Turns out, they're on vacation here from California, so by talking to me, he got to "meet the locals."

As you venture out, look for ways to interact with others- whether you're on vacation or in your own hometown or city. Your life will be richer for it. And so will your kids' lives.
I also encourage you to consider who you tend to interact with and to stretch yourself a bit.  People tend to stick to their own social, ethnic, or racial group. I'm NOT suggesting that you approach someone purely on the basis of their race, ethnicity, or social standing. But pay attention to your internal inclinations and try to break out of them.

If you are Caucasian and a Chinese-American child talks to your child, don't simply smile politely at the other parent or caregiver from a distance. Walk right up. Say hello and introduce yourself. If you meet someone new to the area, share a few local spots a new resident or vacationer might not know. I did this last fall in a coffee shop. I later ran into that person in the very store I had suggested. Our later interactions developed into a new friendship. Last week, my daughter kept watching a couple of girls. They were doing the same- watching and seeming interested but too shy to talk to each other. I said hello to the girls and struck up a conversation with their mom. She seemed new to town so I told her about the Farmer's Market. We ran into each other there later in the day. My daughter was so excited. (I confess, so was I!) When we saw them at the beach another day, my daughter reacted as if they were old friends.

(Obviously, you'll want to talk to your kids about stranger safety. I basically tell mine that talking to unknown adults is OK as long as a known adult is with them. Remember: other than blood relatives, everyone was a stranger to you once.)

Here are some suggested ways to enter into a conversation:

1. Many people read on the beach, in the park, on the T (or Metro, L, or Tube). Strike up a conversation about the book a person is reading. I asked a woman about the book she was reading (I had just finished it). Days later, we spoke about it again. 
2. Ask a simple question. For example, "Do you live in town?" or "How old are your kids?"
3. If your children are already interacting with their kids, focus on the kids. What are their names, ages, grade in school, etc. Eventually you may move into other territory.
4. Smile and say hello. If your kids are with you, people will often focus on the kids, as above. My husband, son, and I had the most amazing conversation with a husband and wife on a city bus in Florence, Italy. Our son was the "way in." Even though our Italian was severely limited and their English was nearly as limited as our Italian, we connected in a very meaningful way through words, gestures, smiles, and laughs.

Sometimes my interactions with others lead to longer-term relationships. Other times, we exchange a conversation and never see each other again. I recently had a brief exchange with my bagger at the grocery store in Bethesda, MD. The man told my friend and I about his "younger days" growing up in rural Alabama.  We laughed and joked with each other and then my friend and I were on our way with our groceries. I'll never see that man again, but boy was my grocery shopping experience fun!

I know not all people are as outgoing as me, which is why I'm suggesting that parents who venture out with their kids have an opportunity to meet each other. I had a nice exchange with a mom and her kids from Northern England on the train home from Washington, DC. She simply turned to me and asked, "Would your kids like to have a go with the cards?" She broke the ice and then we chatted a bit more. She's another person I'll never see again, but our conversation was a nice addition to our 7 hour train ride.

Have you had any fun interactions with strangers lately? Where did you meet? What was your "way in." Did it lead to a lasting friendship?