Teaching Kids About Racism

I choose to stay out of the fray on the internet when it comes to heated, often unproductive "conversations." You know the ones I'm talking about- the ones when people come out of the woodwork to start name-calling and lobbing insults. I want no part of such disrespectful conversations. Different opinions? No problem. In fact, I embrace them, as long as the message is delivered respectfully.

So when George Zimmerman was found "not guilty," I remained quiet on-line. I watched as the internet and the news media exploded as did my Facebook feed. It's not that I don't want to be part of the conversation. I most definitely do. I just want a thoughtful, respectful conversation. I decided to wait until I was home from vacation to write a thoughtful post on the topic.

On this blog, I can control the overall tone. I choose to let all comments (by humans as opposed to "bots") get posted, and delete them if they are offensive, rude, or SPAM. Polliwog is meant to be a safe place with positive suggestions for parents, teachers, and homeschoolers. 

My son and his best friend
Photo by Alison Noyce

On the last day of our vacation, my husband and I sat with our children over breakfast and talked about Trayvon Martin and the events surrounding his murder. We discussed racism and white privilege. We discussed the Florida law called "Stand your ground." The most difficult part of the conversation was helping our son understand that his best friend WILL encounter racism. It already happened in front of him once and he was unprepared for how to respond. We're talking with him about what he'll do the next time.

This was a difficult discussion. How do you explain that a teenager was killed when he went out to buy skittles? How do you help your son understand that his best friend will be seen as a "scary black man" when he gets older? And what do you do to make the world better in the wake of such news?

For starters, you talk about it. If you are a person of color, you don't need to read my post. You know racism exists.  If you aren't a person of color, please open your eyes. Pay attention. Saying you don't see color is disingenuous.  As one African American friend told me, (I'm paraphrasing) "Black people talk about racism every day. We say, "listen to what happened to me today...' " If you have white privilege, you don't live it so you don't have have to talk about it. But not talking to your children about racism is dangerous. It perpetuates racism.

I also encourage you to make your children's lives as diverse as possible. If you live in the suburbs or a rural area like us, that can be a challenge. Trust me, I understand. But you can seek ways to invite a variety of people into your kids' lives. Our kids know and love a variety of people, which, for them, made our conversation all the more painful. When thinking about racism, they had to think about their best friends, their "Aunties and Uncles," and their family friends and imagine what they encounter every day.

On final suggestion is to read books with your children that feature diverse characters. Children learn so much about relationships and problem solving through books. I witness this with my kids all the time. Be careful to choose books that accurately portray people of color (or from other cultures). For help with this, see the resources below. I especially recommend books from Lee and Low, though they are certainly not the only publishers of great books about all kinds of people.

It turns out, in the time I chose to wait to write my post, many other people have written thoughtful posts with suggestions. Some of them are long. I know you may not like reading long posts on a computer screen. (I know I don't. I read some in phases). But please make the time. It's important. Our kids need you to read them and take action. Our world needs you to take action.

On the Lee and Low blog: How to Deal With a Racist Remark

On Rage Against the Minivan: What I Want You to Know About Being a Young Black Man in America. This man's story is not unique. A dear friend told me his mom taught him the same lessons, as did all his friend's moms.

On Under the Acacia Tree: I am not Trayvon's Martin's Mom

On Rage Against the Minivan: Finding Justice for Trayvon: Seven Actions Steps for Our Outrage

And here are some sites that offer general information:

Teaching Tolerance: "A place for educators to find thought-provoking news, conversation and support for those who care about diversity, equal opportunity and respect for differences in schools." My favorite resource for educators on this topic.

RACE-Are We So Different? A new look at race through three lenses: history, human variation, lived experience. (Includes a section for kids aged 10-13).

Code Switch: Frontiers of Race, Culture, and Ethnicity

CBC Diversity: "Advocating for an inclusive and representative children’s publishing industry"

Coloring Between the Lines: Reflections on race, culture, and children's books.

I hope you'll add your own suggestions and ideas in the comments. Please do not debate the Trayvon Martin case here. Please stick to helpful comments and suggestions. 

Related Posts:
RACE-Are We So Different?
Family Connections
A Beach Tail

RACE- Are We So Different?

"[Racism] is not about how you look, it is about how people assign meaning to how you look."
                      ~Robin D.G. Kelley, Historian, quoted in the exhibit


On Sunday, I visited an exhibit at the Museum of Science titled, RACE-Are We So Different? This traveling exhibit spoke to so many issues that are important to me. Issues that are hard to put into words.  Issues that, when written about on a blog, can be misunderstood when not worded exactly the right way or placed in their proper context. Issues that I will continue to speak up about because they are so important.

In a previous post about the book A Beach Tail, and a later post in response to a conversation happening in the blogosphere, I tried to express my feelings about the lack of books about "People of Color."  Even as I wrote those posts, I struggled with word choice. Who was I to label someone else's identity? Yet, I attempted to do so because I had to convey my point somehow and the only way to do it was to use terms that readers would understand.

I am not an expert on race. I am a person who is deeply concerned about people's ability to identify themselves however they choose and to be treated equally and with respect. I am not identified as a Person of Color, African American, Latina, Asian-American, or any number of other artificial labels that can be placed on a person's identity. When labeled, I am called Caucasian. I have always been uncomfortable checking that box on official forms. I pause every time. Not because I am not proud of my heritage but because I do not want be labeled and boxed in. Does anyone?

The exhibit put words to many things I already felt and illuminated some ideas I did not fully understand or could not explain. For example, 

"There is no gene for “race.” There are no qualitative genetic differences between perceived races. (Emphasis added). However, it is possible to trace geographic ancestry using DNA. Since humans expanded out of Africa, genes have changed in small ways in every part of the world. Each of these small changes is a marker for a person’s ancestors who lived where the changes occurred. To a geneticist, these changes are like mileposts along a path, leading first to the people in a local place and then back to the African source. Each genetic change tells only a small piece of the story about human history. A scientist must look at many pieces of DNA to get a reliable story."

Biologically, there is no such thing as race.

If someone had asked me if there is a gene for race I would have said "no." But I had honestly never considered the question in quite this way. I knew that DNA traced all of our ancestors to (East) Africa, but for some reason I never put quite a point on the question of a "race gene."

I think I am fairly well-informed person. I read tons. I talk to lots of interesting people. I move outside my comfort zone and travel to places many people will never see. I've analyzed my own experience of race and culture while living in the U.S. versus living in the Philippines. I relish the differences of culture and the sameness of humanity. I pay attention.
Yet.
Yet.
I have so much to learn.

I soaked up as much as I could from the exhibit, though I want to go back and spend more time. I strongly encourage you to do the same. For my local readers, the exhibit will be at the Museum of Science until May 1st. It's also at the Discovery Place in Charlotte, NC until May 8th. For readers in other states, an exhibit tour schedule is available here. For those who do not have access to the exhibit, much (if not all) of the content is available online at the RACE- Are We So Different website. There's  a special section for kids age 10-13. and a variety of resources for families, researchers, and teachers. Please learn more and spread the word about this important project.

One final quotation from the exhibit:
"Race is the least important aspect in determining character, yet it is often the most significant factor in how we are perceived."