Teaching Kids About Racism

I choose to stay out of the fray on the internet when it comes to heated, often unproductive "conversations." You know the ones I'm talking about- the ones when people come out of the woodwork to start name-calling and lobbing insults. I want no part of such disrespectful conversations. Different opinions? No problem. In fact, I embrace them, as long as the message is delivered respectfully.

So when George Zimmerman was found "not guilty," I remained quiet on-line. I watched as the internet and the news media exploded as did my Facebook feed. It's not that I don't want to be part of the conversation. I most definitely do. I just want a thoughtful, respectful conversation. I decided to wait until I was home from vacation to write a thoughtful post on the topic.

On this blog, I can control the overall tone. I choose to let all comments (by humans as opposed to "bots") get posted, and delete them if they are offensive, rude, or SPAM. Polliwog is meant to be a safe place with positive suggestions for parents, teachers, and homeschoolers. 

My son and his best friend
Photo by Alison Noyce

On the last day of our vacation, my husband and I sat with our children over breakfast and talked about Trayvon Martin and the events surrounding his murder. We discussed racism and white privilege. We discussed the Florida law called "Stand your ground." The most difficult part of the conversation was helping our son understand that his best friend WILL encounter racism. It already happened in front of him once and he was unprepared for how to respond. We're talking with him about what he'll do the next time.

This was a difficult discussion. How do you explain that a teenager was killed when he went out to buy skittles? How do you help your son understand that his best friend will be seen as a "scary black man" when he gets older? And what do you do to make the world better in the wake of such news?

For starters, you talk about it. If you are a person of color, you don't need to read my post. You know racism exists.  If you aren't a person of color, please open your eyes. Pay attention. Saying you don't see color is disingenuous.  As one African American friend told me, (I'm paraphrasing) "Black people talk about racism every day. We say, "listen to what happened to me today...' " If you have white privilege, you don't live it so you don't have have to talk about it. But not talking to your children about racism is dangerous. It perpetuates racism.

I also encourage you to make your children's lives as diverse as possible. If you live in the suburbs or a rural area like us, that can be a challenge. Trust me, I understand. But you can seek ways to invite a variety of people into your kids' lives. Our kids know and love a variety of people, which, for them, made our conversation all the more painful. When thinking about racism, they had to think about their best friends, their "Aunties and Uncles," and their family friends and imagine what they encounter every day.

On final suggestion is to read books with your children that feature diverse characters. Children learn so much about relationships and problem solving through books. I witness this with my kids all the time. Be careful to choose books that accurately portray people of color (or from other cultures). For help with this, see the resources below. I especially recommend books from Lee and Low, though they are certainly not the only publishers of great books about all kinds of people.

It turns out, in the time I chose to wait to write my post, many other people have written thoughtful posts with suggestions. Some of them are long. I know you may not like reading long posts on a computer screen. (I know I don't. I read some in phases). But please make the time. It's important. Our kids need you to read them and take action. Our world needs you to take action.

On the Lee and Low blog: How to Deal With a Racist Remark

On Rage Against the Minivan: What I Want You to Know About Being a Young Black Man in America. This man's story is not unique. A dear friend told me his mom taught him the same lessons, as did all his friend's moms.

On Under the Acacia Tree: I am not Trayvon's Martin's Mom

On Rage Against the Minivan: Finding Justice for Trayvon: Seven Actions Steps for Our Outrage

And here are some sites that offer general information:

Teaching Tolerance: "A place for educators to find thought-provoking news, conversation and support for those who care about diversity, equal opportunity and respect for differences in schools." My favorite resource for educators on this topic.

RACE-Are We So Different? A new look at race through three lenses: history, human variation, lived experience. (Includes a section for kids aged 10-13).

Code Switch: Frontiers of Race, Culture, and Ethnicity

CBC Diversity: "Advocating for an inclusive and representative children’s publishing industry"

Coloring Between the Lines: Reflections on race, culture, and children's books.

I hope you'll add your own suggestions and ideas in the comments. Please do not debate the Trayvon Martin case here. Please stick to helpful comments and suggestions. 

Related Posts:
RACE-Are We So Different?
Family Connections
A Beach Tail

RACE- Are We So Different?

"[Racism] is not about how you look, it is about how people assign meaning to how you look."
                      ~Robin D.G. Kelley, Historian, quoted in the exhibit


On Sunday, I visited an exhibit at the Museum of Science titled, RACE-Are We So Different? This traveling exhibit spoke to so many issues that are important to me. Issues that are hard to put into words.  Issues that, when written about on a blog, can be misunderstood when not worded exactly the right way or placed in their proper context. Issues that I will continue to speak up about because they are so important.

In a previous post about the book A Beach Tail, and a later post in response to a conversation happening in the blogosphere, I tried to express my feelings about the lack of books about "People of Color."  Even as I wrote those posts, I struggled with word choice. Who was I to label someone else's identity? Yet, I attempted to do so because I had to convey my point somehow and the only way to do it was to use terms that readers would understand.

I am not an expert on race. I am a person who is deeply concerned about people's ability to identify themselves however they choose and to be treated equally and with respect. I am not identified as a Person of Color, African American, Latina, Asian-American, or any number of other artificial labels that can be placed on a person's identity. When labeled, I am called Caucasian. I have always been uncomfortable checking that box on official forms. I pause every time. Not because I am not proud of my heritage but because I do not want be labeled and boxed in. Does anyone?

The exhibit put words to many things I already felt and illuminated some ideas I did not fully understand or could not explain. For example, 

"There is no gene for “race.” There are no qualitative genetic differences between perceived races. (Emphasis added). However, it is possible to trace geographic ancestry using DNA. Since humans expanded out of Africa, genes have changed in small ways in every part of the world. Each of these small changes is a marker for a person’s ancestors who lived where the changes occurred. To a geneticist, these changes are like mileposts along a path, leading first to the people in a local place and then back to the African source. Each genetic change tells only a small piece of the story about human history. A scientist must look at many pieces of DNA to get a reliable story."

Biologically, there is no such thing as race.

If someone had asked me if there is a gene for race I would have said "no." But I had honestly never considered the question in quite this way. I knew that DNA traced all of our ancestors to (East) Africa, but for some reason I never put quite a point on the question of a "race gene."

I think I am fairly well-informed person. I read tons. I talk to lots of interesting people. I move outside my comfort zone and travel to places many people will never see. I've analyzed my own experience of race and culture while living in the U.S. versus living in the Philippines. I relish the differences of culture and the sameness of humanity. I pay attention.
Yet.
Yet.
I have so much to learn.

I soaked up as much as I could from the exhibit, though I want to go back and spend more time. I strongly encourage you to do the same. For my local readers, the exhibit will be at the Museum of Science until May 1st. It's also at the Discovery Place in Charlotte, NC until May 8th. For readers in other states, an exhibit tour schedule is available here. For those who do not have access to the exhibit, much (if not all) of the content is available online at the RACE- Are We So Different website. There's  a special section for kids age 10-13. and a variety of resources for families, researchers, and teachers. Please learn more and spread the word about this important project.

One final quotation from the exhibit:
"Race is the least important aspect in determining character, yet it is often the most significant factor in how we are perceived."

A Beach Tail

In honor of summertime here in the northern hemisphere, I thought I'd mention a book I recently discovered- A Beach Tail by Karen Lynn Williams.

Taken from the author's, website: 

"Gregory and his father are spending a day at the beach. When Greg finds a stick and draws a lion in the sand, they name him Sandy Lion. "Don't go in the water, and don't leave Sandy," Dad says. Greg follows his father's advice. But he still manages to travel down the beach quite a way before he realizes he can no longer see the blue umbrella where Dad has settled on the dolphin towel.

Swish Swoosh! Greg's journey takes him past such landmarks as a jellyfish, a sandcastle, a ghost crab hole and more. How will he find his way back to Dad? Fortunately, he has his stick and Sandy's tail with him the whole way.

This rhythmic text is paired with Floyd Cooper's brilliant illustrations, revealing the trip down the beach entirely from a child's point of view. The art and text show a gentle father-son bond and reassures young readers even as they share Greg's moment of worry."

One detail that I especially love is that this book portrays an African-American father and son spending time together. Their race is not mentioned in the text, rather Floyd Cooper's lovely illustrations reveal this detail. Race is not the focus of the story as is the case in so many books about children of color in which the plot focuses on slavery, racism, the civil rights movement, etc. Those books are important, of course, but they need to be balanced with books like this one that portray a "slice of life" for people of color in which their race does not define the plot of the book.

For more on this topic, please check out  the Publisher's Weekly blogpost by Elizabeth Bluemle titled "The Elephant in the Room." You can also follow The Open Book, (children's book publisher Lee and Low's blog), and Coloring Between the Lines (Author/illustrator Anne Sibley OBrien's Blog).

As I think back on my years as a Grade 4 Teacher, I'm sure the books I read with my class were too heavily focused on social issues and not enough on "slice of life stories." I am much more aware of this issue now that I have kids of my own and I write for children, too. Plus, there are more good examples being published every day. I hope you'll support these books by purchasing them or checking them out of the library. As demand grows, publishers will seek more titles. (Two great publishers to check out are Lee and Low and Shen's Books).

Are you a teacher, parent, or homeschooler? Have you considered this point of view regarding books about children of color? Analyze the books you read with your kids. Are people of different races, ethnicities and religions represented? In those books you've read, is the character's race, ethnicity, or religion the defining characteristic? Can you recommend any good books to us?

Family Connections

Connections are important to me. Connections between people. Connections between people and nature. If we had more of both, I believe we'd have a lot fewer problems in the world. While this blog focuses on connections between kids from different cultures and kids and nature, I'd like to take a little side trip today. It may seem disconnected to you, but stick with me. I hope my comments will help you understand.

How connected are your children or students to their relatives, both dead and living? I ask this question because I believe fully understanding your family's values and beliefs enables you to make choices about continuing or rejecting those beliefs.

I am fortunate to come from a solid foundation. I grew up with my relatives nearby. When I was young, four generations lived on our farm, so I had a sense of family history.  I felt loved by my great-grandfather and great grandmother right on down to my aunts and uncles. I learned to live close to the land as I helped feed the animals, bring in the hay, and work the vegetable gardens. I learned independence romping in the woods and fields alone or building forts with my friends. I'm certain I am a naturalist because of this early beginning.

Only later, as a pre-teen, did I start to question the opinions expressed by certain relatives. I heard racial and ethnic slurs uttered on many occasions by some extended relatives. One grandfather thought women should stay home and have babies. He told my parents, "You do not waste money educating women." I didn't always like my extended family or the prejudice that existed. My questioning of that prejudice, and my parents' recognition of it, gave me the courage to grow and reach for something better. Being firmly rooted to my nuclear family and my home gave me the courage to spread my wings and fly half way around the world as an exchange student when I was just 16 years old, even when my grandfather said I belonged at home.

My parents did not want us to repeat my family's history of racism, sexism, antisemitism, etc. (you name an "-ism," it was present in my extended family). They worked hard and raised their daughters to be strong and independent. They pushed us to aim high. Each of us has studied abroad and earned Master's degrees- the first women in our family to do either.  Each of us is a strong independent woman because of our parents. Each of us views the world in a more global way than was the norm in our small home town. I am certain I am passionate about race relations and interactions between people because of the blatant prejudices I experienced as a child and my parents' critical responses to it.

The other day, as I walked in my yard photographing my beautiful flowers, all of these ideas flooded my mind. What made that happen you might ask? My strong roots, that's what. I live in the house my maternal grandparents lived in when I was a child. My parents live in my paternal grandparent's house. All around me I see evidence of my grandparents. This home is certainly ours now- we've lived here more than 15 years and made many changes to make it our own. One thing that hasn't changed is some of the gardens and plants. As I walk through my gardens, I see the flowers my grandmother planted all those years ago still blooming. Her snowdrops, crocuses, and daffodils still push up through the snow every spring. Each time I see them I think of her and smile. My front garden is a riot of color right now- some of it my grandmother's plants, some of it plants dug from friends' and relatives' gardens over the years. Gardening goes way back in my family. As I walked and photographed each of those flowers yesterday, I thought of the person who gave them to me. And there's the seed of this whole post: connections between the people in my life (some living, some dead) and nature, in the form of the plants they gave me.

For your viewing pleasure... here is a sampling of those flowers and who they're from:

My deceased grandmother's clematis. This is the first time it has bloomed for me.

My grandmother's iris. Yellow was her favorite color.

Peony dug from my uncle's garden. That ant is doing it's job--soon a full bloom!

Lupine my mom grew from seed.

Geranium dug from my great aunt's garden 10 years ago.

Iris from the original plant my mom dug from her grandmother's garden back in the 60's.

I maintain strong connections to the family that nurtures me. I embrace my family’s legacy of living close to the earth- of growing food and flowers and animals-but I reject the legacy of prejudice. I can only choose to embrace or reject something once I have recognized it, considered it, and acted in response to it.

How about you? What is your family legacy? What makes you proud? What do you want to change for your children? How will you make that happen?